Showing posts tagged jimmy kimmel
“Let’s not forget: In a way, all of you are winners tonight, but in a much more literal way, most of you will be losers. The important thing is we get out of here and you can put on your fat pants.”
“A lot of people are upset about this – some investors are even suing, claiming they were misled. Their CEO is a kid in a hoody – how misled could we have been?”
- Jimmy Kimmel, on Facebook stock hitting an all-time low, in his monologue
See more of the best star zingers here!
“I realized, pretty quickly, that that A was actually a little V on the pill. Because not only did I not sleep the entire flight, [there was] camping happening.”
- The Bourne Legacy star Jeremy Renner, who was tricked into taking Viagra instead of Ambien on a redeye, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Jimmy Kimmel Owns the Emmy Awards Announcement Ceremony! Check Out His Best Jokes:
“This is a sex dream, isn’t it?”
– Looking confused, Jimmy Kimmel stepped onto the stage and cracked a joke about being a last-minute replacement for Nick Offerman
”This could be just as good at noon, really.”
– Joking about the announcement’s early hour – since the nominations are revealed live from Los Angeles at 5:40 a.m. PST
“This is from the husky baby collection. Thank you for asking.”
– In response to Kerry Washington’s question (“Who are you wearing?”) about his sleepwear
Read more of the late-night host’s best one-liners here.
“It’s important to remember – four years ago, Justin Bieber was a 14-year-old girl singing on YouTube. Now, he’s got grown men chasing him on the freeway.”
See more star zingers here!