Quoted on People.com

“I just hope it doesn’t pop out with a weird accent.”

– Channing Tatum, on his and wife Jenna’s plan to give birth in London, on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Celeb Quote of the Week #4 

“What’s that, Jimmy? Is there a new host in town? And his initials are MD. That’s right, the doctor is in.”

– Matt Damon, in a “revenge video” promoting his appearance – and ongoing “feud” – on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, on YouTube

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“I have such extraordinarily loud pecks - sounds like am walking around in wellies.”

- Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson, after watching his onscreen kiss with costar (and newly reunited girlfriend) Kristen Stewart, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

“Let’s not forget: In a way, all of you are winners tonight, but in a much more literal way, most of you will be losers. The important thing is we get out of here and you can put on your fat pants.”

– Emmys host Jimmy Kimmel, during his opening monologue for Sunday’s Emmy Awards

Click here for more celeb zingers from Sunday’s Emmy Awards!

“I rented this archway and I just live behind it… in this big trash can.”

- Robert Pattinson, joking about his current living situation, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

“A lot of people are upset about this – some investors are even suing, claiming they were misled.  Their CEO is a kid in a hoody – how misled could we have been?”

- Jimmy Kimmel, on Facebook stock hitting an all-time low, in his monologue

See more of the best star zingers here!

“I realized, pretty quickly, that that A was actually a little V on the pill. Because not only did I not sleep the entire flight, [there was] camping happening.”

- The Bourne Legacy star Jeremy Renner, who was tricked into taking Viagra instead of Ambien on a redeye, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Jimmy Kimmel Owns the Emmy Awards Announcement Ceremony! Check Out His Best Jokes:

“This is a sex dream, isn’t it?” 

– Looking confused, Jimmy Kimmel stepped onto the stage and cracked a joke about being a last-minute replacement for Nick Offerman 

 ”This could be just as good at noon, really.” 

– Joking about the announcement’s early hour – since the nominations are revealed live from Los Angeles at 5:40 a.m. PST 

“This is from the husky baby collection. Thank you for asking.” 

– In response to Kerry Washington’s question (“Who are you wearing?”) about his sleepwear 

Read more of the late-night host’s best one-liners here.

Celeb Quote of the Week #2

“It’s important to remember – four years ago, Justin Bieber was a 14-year-old girl singing on YouTube. Now, he’s got grown men chasing him on the freeway.”

- Jimmy Kimmel, poking fun at the singer’s recent high-speed chase on an L.A. freeway, in his opening monologue

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